Domokun says rahh.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

My feelings for her are growing stronger. Oh darn. But surely she is not the one. The age gap is just way too big. Ok. Not big. But a bit big onli. haha. Those eyes are just what attracted me i guess. haha. But time to draw the line. Whats to be done in Ngee ann will be finished! Whats to be shown in church will be shown.

Oh well. I've learnt something after much observation. It is to keep observing and shut up. people can do what they want with their life. I am in no position to critisize. Maybe they will learn what they nid to learn. Just like what Vincent did when i was making loads of mistakes in my school. To let one experience mistakes and grow stronger.

Many want to be known and popular. To be in the limelight and many resort to all means to reach there. Some reach there unknowingly. Surely there are many ways to have popularity. But i guess when u reach the limelight, there is onli 2 things that will happen. You will be known and you will be popular. And u will have what u want. But the 2nd thing is that many will see ur flaws and mistakes, and ultimately ur downfall. There is realli no point i guess. When u r in the limelight, prepare for the worse. Nothing comes free in this world.

Maybe what i always longed for in this world is to leave this world. to go to that better place to enjoy eternity. But i guess i will just stay longer here to build myself up. To prepare myself for that glorious day to come.

11:02 PM

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

funny how this world is. its so difficult to do the right thing at times and it makes the wrong things look so attractive. haha. Why? Many examples. Pride is something we all struggle with. We shout out our achievements and our good works so everyone can hear, but who actually admires you for it? instead, the one who keeps quiet about his good works earn respect. Why do i write this? lets just say i am very observant of things around me. Its so easy to get proud, but being proud just brings you down. Its so difficult to remain humble, yet it honours you like a crown on your head. oh well, thats the way the world is.

My old secondary school friends say i am becoming more and more nerdy. I looked at my old friendster photo's and i do realise it happening. After a long consideration on the bus, i would have to say, i've reached my target! I used to spend so much time and money and effort just to look the best in secondary school to attract girls and attention, and when i get to my point, i realised there was nothign there at all. I attracted girls who have no heart in them. I attracted girls who like me for my looks yet not for my heart. I guess there is really no point in looking good at all. I rather people love me for my heart. haha. Thats why i dress as and how i like in ngee ann. So what if you are handsome?! There are many handsome guys outside! You just look the same as everyone! haha.

Read shahidah's blog about guys asking the girls question all the time, i find that there is no point at all. Phaze said they are just asking for attention. I would agree i guess. Many said that ECE is a course with little girls. haha. I guess thats true. But i see no point in attracting girls attention all the time. Just makes me look despo. Just chill and have a good time sitting back looking at other guys fighting for attention. oh well.... the way the world is. Lets just thank God the world will be coming to an end. If not, lucky we just have to live a relatively short life on earth. Thank God! blessed be your name!

1:21 PM

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Proverbs 8 wrote that wisdom cries out on the streets but yet foolish people dun see it. I couldnt understand because i was ignorant, but now i understand what it meant by saying wisdom cries out on the streets. Surely the biggest lessons in life can be found on the streets! yes! the streets where we walk by everyday, the streets we step and spit on.!

Example? Its amazing how young people nowadays are too preoccupied with themselves they tend to ignore other people. I have to take the bus 157 to school most of the time, every morning i see the same scenario repeating itself. People fighting to be the first to get on the bus. And when they get on the bus, they fight for seats and preoccupy 2 seats to 1 butt. Usually i would just ignore them but what i saw yesterday was over the top. Firstly, i missed 2 buses because of people who fight to get to the bus. I was standing straight at the door but the moment the doors opened, people push me to the back and i end up missing that bus. I'd just shut up about it but the worse was that there was 1 blind man and those people just refused to let him on board the bus. soon there was a bus where we can stand in. I and the blind man got on and on the bus, there were plenty of seats which can be seated on yet made unavailable by people who occupy it with their bags. But these people refuse to move to allow the blind man to sit!! Ended up the blind man had to stand the whole journey. The ones who refused to gve up their seats? Man of aged 20 years+ who can walk perfectly and muscular.

I wrote this at my friendster shout out, ""Look! The ones causing the distress of the world are the rich and healthy! Why do u want to join them? The disabled are much more stronger!" For this sentence i will place my life on it. The ones who are causing war on earth today? The ones who are persecuting the people? YES!! The rich and healthy!! The authorities of the world!! Surely thats the reason why God favours the weak and the poor. And by typing this phrase out, even i feel shameful and emberrassed. So why do you people look down on the disabled? These people are the ones who put us to shame you fools!!

First week of school over!! 3 more years to go! haha! Taking things easy. Some people run and fight to get to the top, they struggle so much and sweat for the cause of getting the best out of life. They keep running and slowly they get tired and die of exhaustion. Instead the one who walks and have faith slowly one step at a time gets to the top. Surely that is the ultimate truth of life. And those who run and sweat to get to the top, And even if they do get to the top, they find out that they have dropped many things on the way, the ultimate price? their soul. I wouldnt explain futher on what i mean, for what i write in this blog is based on experience. So experience it for yourself, come back a few years down the road, and you will understand what i mean!

Wisdom cries out on the streets for you, are you responding to her?

12:26 AM

Thursday, April 19, 2007

I was late for El Tech pract and i guess it was all God's plan. I was grumbling in the morning on how tough my course is going to be and how boring it is. And i practically draggd myself to school without any zest. Strolled into the classroom slowly and almost got a scolding from my lecturer but i just couldnt give a damn. And little did i know i sat beside a boy of my age and he is the one who opened up my heart today. So The lecturer just bored us with his notes and reading str8 from the notes, ended up everyone couldnt understand what was going on. So we did the practical with much boredom and fustration. So i decided to ask the guy beside me to help me as he was doing just fine. And much to my shock, he couldnt reply me and he took out this paper. On it writes " Hello and excuse me, i am Peh Chuan and i am hearing impaired, please forgive me". I was just practically dumbfounded and i was straightly emberrased right on the spot. And to top it off, he is mute and can't speak. It was then i realised that he couldnt get what the lecturer was talking about let alone even understand. But he managed to do the practical!! And guess what, it was him who helped me through the practical! I was practically stuck at my first practical! Amazing! He cant hear what the lecturer was saying so he depended alot on reading and understanding on his own. Worse thing is that he cant ask the lecturer questions he dun understand!!But he is doing so much better than me!! Lord please bless his soul on the day of your returning for he has displayed true strength and courage. And amazing how many people like me, built perfectly without a flaw and with perfect IQ, are struggling so hard with our work. Just like how many people in my church are struggling. Yet someone who has even more things to deal with are doing better than us. Shame on people like us. Amazing how much strength God can give. Bless his soul Lord, bless his soul! Amen

4:36 PM

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

School just started for me. today's the 3rd day and so i decided to update ma blog while i have time. 3 days in Ngee ann ECE and i totally understand why many dropped out from this course. Its tough and its damn damn damn damn damn boring. im screwed! but still, the difference is tht God is always dere for moi! SOmehow God pulled it off and i made new frens! on the 1st day of school oredi started talking cock with them liao. haha. Met an exact duplicate of character of Nizam! totally same character and personality. haha. And met Keng leong (i call him Liong for short)! haha. He may seem like a gangster at first but hey! he's kinda nice! haha.

After hearing how Kai's school is like! i realised one thing. I am in a NERD course!! my class only got 2 ah beng but both are just Ah beng's on looks! they are actually quite nice! oh screw it! i cant communicate with nerds!

I just cant stop laughing when i hear Kai tell me about his school! haha. He's gonna conquer all the gangsters there lors! watch out ITE! a new gangster's in town! haha.

Girls in Ngee ann?? i gotta put it this way. They are all so pretty and ah lian! None of them are outstanding!argh! i feel so demoralised! haha. They all have the same type of prettiness none of them stand out unique! lol! now i still think dating church girls are safer. haha.

4:58 PM

Saturday, April 14, 2007

I belong to a category called protestant. Another so called "breed" of christianity. But i do think that it comes from the word "protest". That makes me wonder, are we realli protesting against Christianity? I looked at the new testament and what Jesus has to say about Christians at that time, why did Jesus did away with all rituals and ceremonies that he himself established millions of years ago?

The problem? it lies within the christians at that time. Jesus called them hypocrites, why? Why did he call the people who followed all the rituals and ceremonies set up by himself, hypocrites? The main problem is because the Christians became too focused on rituals and ceremonies that it soon made people think that acts of rituals and ceremonies will be the thing that bring them to heaven! But that isn't what God wanted from them! not acts but their heart towards God. That was the biggest insult to the "spiritual" leaders at that time. Which explains why they hated him!

But still up till today, we see what happened 2000 years ago still happening today. People thinks that good acts will bring them to heaven. People think that abstaining from "dirty" food will purify them. people think that fasting alone will forgive them of their sins. Something that Jesus detest most! These acts are'nt what will bring you to heaven! These acts are merely there to show of your love to God ONLY! Not for you to use as a ticket to heaven! Why did you think that old prophets who followed the same rituals as what the hypocrites did were blessed by God??!! Because they did these rituals with love and sincerity for God!

I thank God so much that we protestants today are following the example Jesus set that time. That we are not blinded by the acts but have our eyes opened by faith. That is the reason why many regions and authorities of the world hate us protestants! because we do not follow the same hypocrisy our forefathers did but instead followed Jesus's example, the one our foolish forefathers persecute!

Are you then, the one reading this entry, thinking that it is acts that bring you to heaven? God wants our heart, not our acts. Acts are just something that follows after ur heart is set for God. It comes naturally. Dun set ur acts before your heart, but rather set your heart before your acts.

6:13 AM

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I am in love again, it has happened tons and tons of times! but it just doesnt seem to end. but being in love doesnt mean for me to date that girl, but its for me to learn how to give up. one thing i've learn after so many failed relationships. True strength comes when you learn to let go, not to hold.

God's time frame is of a large scale. while man's time frame is vastly small. God said the second coming is very near but it has been 2000+ years since he said that. Does it mean he has forgotten us or slow to keep his promise? no! The scripture clearly tells us that God is being patient on mankind, giving time for all to repent. makes me amazed at how ppatient God is. God may tell u he will fulfil his promise soon, but soon may mean 20 years or 30 years on human's time frame.

When it comes down to it, the book of revelation's main purpose isn't really to focus on what is going to happen, but it is more focused on warning us about the future and calling all to repent and to bring hope. i guess i can end my study on the end of times seeing that its main purpose has been fulfilled. but one thing i can say that what the scriptures have fortold is slowly coming to reality and even so, many has been fulfilled. the end is near i guess.

Sometimes the answer to all your problems lies in your own backyard. I read lots of books on humility, love and so much more, but the ultimate answer is still in a book called the bible. those books are just secondary books there to aid you in your walk with God, the primary book still lies in the bible.

You want to know what true strength is? Look for God, he'll show you strength beyond your imagination.

6:10 PM

Monday, April 09, 2007

Got my new laptop just a few days ago and i guess i dun really deserve it. but my Dad wanted me to have it. But i guess my sis Grace is right. Its a gift. Dad's gift to me. makes me realise the same thing about God's gift and grace upon me. i dun deserve it, yet it was given to me because of love. I am responsible for destroying many lives yet because of his grace i am enjoying a new beginning in life. amazing grace, how can it be? makes me realise i really have nothing to be proud about. all this experience i had because of my secondary school trauma is considered nothing to me anymore. nothing to be proud about because i quit smoking, coz it was God's strength and grace upon me. Nothing to be proud about because i went through persecution, coz it was God who carried me on his arms through the storm. come to think about it, i can only be proud of this God i have in my life. strong and loving. Nothing can explain my gratitude now. But all i can do is to pass on this love to other people : ) I am given a gift of making other people happy by laughing, then i will use it no matter what people think about me, it is God's gift and i wun be ashamed of it. God didnt carry me through the storm for nothing. there is always a lesson behind it.

I thought i'd just end off this entry with a story that God taught me on leadership.

-There were once 2 people, "A" & "B",

-"A" was someone whom everyone thought of as a potential great leader, always serving in front of people in great ways!

-"B" was someone who was never noticed in church, always walking around unoticed at all times, people thought nothing of him and some even despised him.

-Both were soon into full time ministry serving the Lord a few years down the road.

-20 years after they started serving, "A's" church closed down and and his congregation was lost, but "B's" church grew in great numbers and "B" recieved plenty of blessings from the Lord!

-"A" saw how successful "B" was and was depressed greatly and could not understand why these had to happen. Soon "A" commited suicide because of depression.

-"A" then stood beside Jesus in heaven and he asked him why did he fail his ministry.

This was what Jesus replied him in a soft and loving manner :

"My son, 20 years before you started serving me, everyone noticed and praised you for the great things you have done for the people. But you did not notice that you were doing it just for the people and not for me. People saw ur good acts and praised you and thought great of you, but never once did you give glory to me who gave you the strength to do all those acts. You refused to do small acts of humility like even clearing the dustbin in the worship hall and waited for people to clear it. "

"A" replied : "But my Lord Jesus! 'B' didnt do anything at all! I never once saw him do any acts of service to you my Lord!"

Jesus replied in the same manner, this time putting his arms around "A" :

"Child, did i not mentioned in the scripture that whatever good acts you do, do not let your right hand know what your left hand is doing? 'B' did just that, everytime before service who put up the chairs? did you think it was the chairs who put themselves in an orderly manner? No my child, 'B' would arrive 2 hours before every service to put up the chairs, then quietly slip through the doors to have his lunch. Who do you think cleared the dustbin and cleaned the floor so that people can worship me in peace?It was 'B'! He served me in humble ways not for man to see, but for me. 'B' kept you in prayer every day of his life to keep you from the evil one and prayed for me to forgive you. It was because of his prayer that you are here beside me today. Each of you have recieved your rewards in full my child. I kept to my promise that the humble will be exalted and the proud will be humbled!

So my frens. I sure hope you got the message across. Its okay if you think that i am of no authority to speak of leadership, even i am of no authority to have this laptop to type out this entry late night. But i pray that you would keep this story in your heart my fren who is reading this. This entry is purely for your reading pleasure and learning . All other motives of mine will be judged by Jesus himself.

2:35 AM

Friday, April 06, 2007

was at Miranda birthday party just now at east coast park. and clearly that place was a mixture of people from black and white sides of society. Gangsters were there. Nerds who study were there. haha. but good thing i and my gang were not part of them although we are all frens with the darker side people. Makes me wonder how long can gangsters reign on their turf. they are bound to get hacked by someone sooner or later. there really is no point in all this gangsterism shit i guess.

The world view leadership as a big thing. standing in front of everyone and making big decisions that will change the fate of everyone. isit really like that? people view leadership and think that its all glamour. at least i thought it was all glamour. but when it comes down to it. Nobody really cares if you are a leader or not. The only person who thinks great of urself is, well....yourself. they just find out u r a leader and they'll go, "oh okay. so he's a leader" and change the subject topic. maybe thats why Jesus said leadership is serving humbly. the more you brag you are a leader. the more people look down on you. Example? when i started hockey when i was sec 1. My captain was Aidil. A super talented guy born to play hockey. he needed just a short time to reach professional state. but why do so many people look down on him and avoid him? Because he became too damn proud and looked down on people. everytime i walk to school with my frens. if i see him i would try to avoid him. He would brag about his hockey skills non stop all the way to school. Precisely what i meant by saying, the only person that thinks great of himself is himself. But i have another captain who was'nt as talented in hockey. But he remained humble and friendly and everyone liked him. He never once bragged about his skill or achievements. so i guess what matters is that you remain humble when hit with leadership roles. I learnt my lesson on leadership and it sure hit me hard on the head. Humility is the biggest key to greatness in leadership. I guess thats why my father never ever once bragged about his achievements nor became proud. He never once said anything about him being a leader in his sermons. he served quietly and thats why i think he's the second best leader i've ever seen. first is God la. haha. Greatness isn't pride, greatness is humility. Thats why many dun make it to greatness.

1:19 AM