Domokun says rahh.

Sunday, October 28, 2007

I just decided on changing my image reason being that it is attracting alot of unneccessary attention. Its about time i changed to a more good boy image. I look too much like a gangster. I guess those gangster days of mine are long over. Its about time this gangster look of mine went off. Gonna cut my hair to a more neater way and changing my spectacles hopefully by this week. At least if i changed to a more good boy look, it will be easier for me to keep single. NO point dressing up so nice just to attract girls. So what if you dress so nice that u attract girls? Just proves u r good looking thats all. grrrr.

If you are asking why i decide on changing my image. 2 big events changed my mind greatly. Firstly, i was going to the polyclinic yesterday coz i was sick. I just went down the bus and this ITE guy kept staring at me. I mean heck this happens to me all the time, but yesterday was absolutely the last straw. I dun wanna dress like a gangster anymore. I wan people to look at me with respect : ) Secondly, i somehow attracted a guy...again. And its damn freaky. It has happened before that a guy proclaimed his love for me. BUt this second one was absolutely the last straw. Heck the first guy that proclaimed his love for me ended up being beaten up by me. I guess the second one was more lucky. heck. Wads with gays nowadays? Going everywhere proclaiming their sick love for every guy they see.

School? boring....

12:01 AM

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

You always cried and wanted to know what strength was. Strength comes from pain.
You said i am not there anymore, but i still am with you in my prayers.
You wanted to do whats right, so do i, lets do the right thing now.
Doing the right thing hurts and we know it, the fact you feel pain means you are doing the right thing.
Rejoice!! We are doing whats best now for both of us.
Do you need to hold on to someone to have someone? You can always have but not to hold.
Does it seem to you that what i am doing is selfish and harsh on you? But know that i am doing this because i want you to be truly happy.
I know its painful, it has been for me too. But after this, what blessed joy and peace we shall find.
Hang in there, keep strong!!

This is a poem for those who feel pain in your hearts, to those who seek comfort. And this is specially for you...You knw who you are..

Are you passing through a testing,
Is your pillow wet with tears?
Do you wonder what the reason,
Why it seems God never heards?
Why it is you have no answer
To your oft-repeated plea.
Why the heaven still is leaden
As you wait on bended knee?

Do you wonder as you suffer,
whether God does understand,
And if so, why he ignores you,
fails to hold you in his hand?
Do black doubts creep in, assail you.
Fears without and fears within,
till your brave heart almost falters
And gives way to deadly sin?

All God's testing have a purpose
and one day you will see the light.
All he asks is that you trust him.
Walk by faith and not by sight.
Do not fear when doubt besets you,
just remeber - He is near;
He will never, never leave you,
He will always hear.

Faithful is he who has promised.
He will never let you fall.
Daily will strength be given
Strength for each and strength for all.
He will gladly share pain with you,
he will gladly give you peace,
Till you tired and weary body,
Find its blessed glad release.

When the darkened veil is lifted,
Then dear heart you will understand,
Why is it you have to suffer,
Why you could not feel his hand.
Giving strength when it was needed,
giing power and peace within,
Giving joy through tears and trial,
Giving victory over sin.

So till then just keep on trusting,
Thru the sunshine and the rain,
Thru the tears and thru the heartaches,
Thru the smiles and thru the pain,
Knowing that our father watches,
Knowing daily strength he'll give,
Victory for each passing hour,
This is life so let us live!

- John E. Zoller

10:52 PM

i just realise ngee ann lecturers are dumb ( heck i realised it last sem ). So i couldnt find any topic on "Bio data identity cards" on wikipedia nor the wonderful library website. So i send him an sms telling him we couldnt find any topic. His reply was this "Thanks for the update, but i believe u can try harder! Jia you!". I was like 0.0!! like dude, suggest an alternative. So i decided to focus on IC cards. After all it says identity cards a.k.a IC. So today before i presented, the lecturer saw the neighbouring class doing the same topic on bio data identity card. So he pushed my head towards that class and told me they were doing the same topic and he told me to stop being lazy. I was like, wth. Dude, i did my stuff duh. And it ended up that grp onli had one slide coz they too couldnt find information too!! And yes if you were guess. They only had one slide with the words " Bio data identity card" and their beautiful group members name. One freaking slide and they had 4 guys doing it. haiz. Im gonna fail this module : (

I dunno if you are hating me or not, but at least know that i am not doing all this to make life hell for you. chill yo?? In time, In time.

8:38 PM

Monday, October 22, 2007

I have heard people with great testimonies and somehow people think its very easy to speak of testimonies. I am here just to tell u no its never easy. It includes telling people about how weak u r and what you have done wrong. Its never about making urself look good. Never ever. A real estimoney doesnt make one person look great or good. It merely means showing the world how weak humans are but how strong God is. Think twice before u start saying ur testimoney. If it is to make urself look good then it is called bragging.

This is such a screwed up world where we as guys have to put up with such a great fight to resist temptation. Everyday i go around i see girls who dress up skimpily. What can we do about these girls? To them is comfort, to us is a struggle. I have given in to sexual sins too many times i cannot even count it. Each time i yearn to do right there is an internal battle within. Funny how sexual temptation is so common yet people find it taboo to talk about sex. Has anyone then ever teach us young people to deal with high sexual drives and stuff like masturbation. Yes i know its highly sensitive because i have greatly commited a great sin because no one evr taught me how to deal with it. Yes i am not a good boy in which u think i am. Maybe u dun even think i am a good boy.

I am not goign to delete my previous post. Coz it is after all my fustration and anger to him my father. I am not going to delete it because wrote it to someone i knew who existed in my life since day 1. I wrote it because i loved him and i desperately needed answers.

9:44 PM

Thursday, October 18, 2007

God is almighty ahoy and he plans each and everyday of your life carefully with love and care!! MY ASS! God is just a motherfucking kid with a magnifying glass trying to screw up my life!! Look almighty motherfucker. You plan things with love dun you? Then you plan for me to sin, you plan all my failures and troubles. Who goes through it?? Who gets bullied? Whose life was risked? Who was laughed at? Whose life got ruined? You motherfucker created this world for us to so called "enjoy". You want us to fucking enjoy then why put that fucking fruit tree in the middle of the fucking garden of Eden? You were the one who put sin in the garden of Eden and you happily punish dumb Adam and eve for eating it! How wise!!! You are so fucking full of shit and a motherfucking glory hog. You planned for me happily to go to the all beautiful yuhua secondary and i was the one who has to go through all of your wonderful planning of gangfights and bullying. I was the one who has to fight and get laughed at when i wanted to change! Who got the glory??? You!!! And where were you? Nowhere to be found when i needed someone to be there most!!! You are so fucking full of shit to put sexual desires into us yet you want us to run from them when it is such a difficult thing to do. Oh you happily invented the so called "school" and we have to rack our brains out just to learn about your wonderful yet screwed up creations! Look dude, Who is the one who has to suffer physical pain and emotional abuses? And where are you now? OH ALL BEAUTIFUL HEAVEN SMOKING CIGAR AND ENJOYING LIFE!! I hate you God, are you gonna throw me to hell for this bloody entry? Do it quick. Oh wait, maybe you can give me a horrible death now and punish me for it. Who cares what happened to my dumb life anw. It was deemed worthless the moment i stepped into yuhua.

Adults think we young people are stupid and always making mistakes. And i wun deny it. Yes we are stupid people and always making mistakes. Its only because we arent experienced in life at all compared to you white haired goons. Yes you are wiser only because you went ahead of us first. And you blame us for being stupid and making mistakes. Have you forgotten how many mistakes you made when you were young? You motherfucking screwed up assholes always trying to make yourselves look wise.

oooh ahh Nathan is making such an entry!! OMG OMG!! Why did he blog such a stuff? isnt he scared people will see it.? Well you motherfuckers! I wrote it only because you can see it!!! See now the anger and fustrations of a young and stupid goon typing on the laptop keyboard trying to know who God is. And somehow that almighty God refuses to say anything while he is typing this entry. He refuses to smite this ignorant blogger down with lightning or maybe with plagues? Who cares? If i can even fuck care God, what makes you think i would even give a fucking care about dumb humans?

Go screw yourself assholes. This entry will be the first of my declaration of my anger and fustration to God! This blog entry merely means i am at my wit ends!!

5:50 PM

Saturday, October 13, 2007

Am i not God's children? Den cant i struggle with God? I beat my own father, why den cant i not struggle with God? If you think that being a christian means being holy all the time den screw you. Surprised i struggle with God and i hate him so much at times that i raise up my middle finger to him at the sky? Has anyone ever taught me about struggling with God instead of abiding to his will all the time?

This is my blog set up by my own hands. I write what i want in it. My thoughts and my views. I am not restricted by any of you fools always thinking that a 17 year old christian shud always blog holy stuff. Coz this is never my main purpose of my blog.

There is a difference between gangsters and troublemakers. Gangsters are people who fight and gather as gangs for a reason. Something worth fighting. Troublemakers are the typical people who stare at you for no reason always trying to find trouble with you. Which makes me think that if we were to officially classify the 2 main groups, then the population of gangsters would drop by 95%. And at least 90% of the total group would be classified under troublemakers.

12:21 AM

Thursday, October 11, 2007

We all know heaven is a place where there is no sorrow, pain, sickness nor death. And surely it would be a place far better than this temporal earth that we are all stuck in. So i am reading a book which i found which is true about most christians nowadays. The book is named " Glory of heaven" by John Macarthur. So it says about this poor family whom they have to work very hard each day just to get food to eat. This poor family invited the preacher in and wanted to know about the future glory of heaven in which they could get to enjoy. And after the preacher shared with them things in heaven, all of dem rejoiced with joy for their future glory in heaven. How isit that we christians who live comfortably do not care abit about heaven? That we are so comfortable in this earth that we choose to place our dwellings here.? We live so comfortably getting things that we want all the time that we think that heaven is a hindrance to our enjoyings of this earth!!! Shouldnt we be then place our longing for heaven? The place where our hearts shud be?

I keep having thoughts of killing and injuring people in my mind these few days. And it is frightening to me that i desire killing a fellow chrisitian brother. And i desire to end the lives of troublemakers of this earth. Am i demon possessed by the spirit of vengeance?

12:07 AM

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

So i was talking to someone just now about people nowadays. And it seems that there is a certain uproar about being random. And i dun get people who call themselves random. Firstly, i would never mind if someone is random by nature. For sure if someone is random by nature, he/she wouldnt go around calling him/her-self random and always trying to be random just so to prove they are random. I mean, if you have it, there is no need to go around proving it. Lets just say, you have a funny nature, and you can make very funny jokes. You dun have to go around telling people u r funny. Or maybe put on ur msn things like "i am a funny guy, worship me". Its stupid. I am saying it coz of many people who try to be random with me when they are surely faking it. Lets just face it, it aint a bit cool?

You can always tell whether someone who is rash and impulsive. I am by nature rash and impulsive. But you can always tell who is defensive, rash and impulsive. How? just something i noticed about people and about me. Wait till a situation where a particular person makes a rude comment or opens a discussion. The first one to retaliate with long arguments has already proven to be rash and impulsive. Dun believe? Check around blogs where there are many critcisms. : ) You will get what i am talking about...

I just realised one thing about humans. Why are we scared of ghost and spirits? isit because they are scary or do things that shock us all? I figured an answer to this question. Its all because we are scared of death! So lets just say this particular pontianak is standing in front of you, if you knew that the pontianak wouldnt do anything to hurt or kill you, would u still be scared? Lets just say if i told you that a single ant can kill, would you be scared of an ant? but because they are harmless thats why we arent scared a bit!! Go figure all you who are scared of death. Am i right to say this is the reason why you are all scared of everything?

11:39 PM

Monday, October 08, 2007

I made a pact to God 6 months ago that if i were to grow up to rebel against him, that he would grant me death before it happens. So that i would suffer a horrible death on earth and enjoy life with him in heaven, than to enjoy earth and suffer in hell. Somehow i am sensing that my wish is about to come true. So guys, if i die young, dun mourn over me. Know that it means that you have one less rebel to deal with.

11:08 PM

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

This world is just so full of shit. Everywhere i go i meet stupid people with the words "beat me up" written on their foreheads. I am practically developing a very bad hatred for a particular malay group. Called Mat and Minahs! So i was on the bus 99 just last week on the way home. At the next stop, 3 ITE malay guys got up on the bus. 1 is of the same age as me. But they are year 1 for sure. So i usually sit with my kness against the back of the chair. But one of them sat infront of me. So i tried to be nice and moved my legs away so he could seat comfortably. But naturally being a group of monkeys, one of them turned around and stared at me as if he wanted a fight. So i looked back and he turned around and started talking to his friend in malay. Thinking i am a chinese and i dun understand malay. But he was so wrong. I understood every single word he said. So he asked his friends to sit beside me so they could surround me and beat me up. But his friend somehow refused but instead move on seat ahead. So that monkey in front of me being a troublemaker kept turning around and stared at me. All this while not making a move towards me. My fist was clenched up ready to give him a good beating if he made a move towards me. But as usual, he did not. So at the next stop, An old friend of mine got up on the bus and he saw me and sat beside me. And in his bag was a parang. Naturally i asked what that knife was doing in his bag, so he said he was going to Boon lay to slash someone up. So i left him alone knowing that there are people who deserve a good slashing. So i was talking to my fren but that malay ITE monkey just wouldnt stay still and be a good monkey. He kept shouting around the bus and kept staring at us. All this time not knowing my fren has a parang in his bag. So my friend couldnt take it anymore, being a person of bad temper. So he whipped out his parang and place it straight at his neck and told him to shut up. Oh well, We all know how Mats are, they are the first to shrink to cowards when faced with bigger opponents. Naturally they apologised like how good monkeys do and got off quickly at the neck stop. Justiced served...

This generation is a cursed generation. Where everyone u see around is full of shit. Maybe all we need is a parang in our bags?

Maybe u might be thinking of posting holy things on the tagboard like, "you should love your enemies" blah blah blah...Maybe you would reconsider typing those things. Coz its easier to say than to do. Maybe if one day someone puts a gun at ur head, try loving him. If you can, then by all means, post it. I am sick and tired of all the fake talking. Where everyone is so civilised in church and talk holy all the time. Maybe i should just be myself in church. We cant even make lil jokes where God is concerned. After all, everyone is so fake.

11:31 AM