Friday, November 30, 2007
I always wondered on this truth, can one love someone whom he has never seen before? I can only come to this conclusion. Yes indeed one can love someone whom he has never met before in his life. My parents never met me before i was born, yet they prepared the best beds and love a baby could have. Even as i speak now i am deeply in love with my future wife even though i dunno who she is. I dream of my happy times talking with her, my love for her is keeping me a virgin, that i would give to her on our wedding night. My love for her drove me to do the right things to encourage me to be a better man, so that she can proudly claim to the world that she married the best husband there is. My love for my wife is an encouragement to keep me in doing the right things. And this is how i have used my love for God and my love for her to keep going in life in a world where virginity isn't a big deal anymore. Where wrong seems right.
I hate and dislike people only because i have the same problem myself. The same way i hate gangsters and pai kiah's only because i was once the same as them. I hate flirts only because i was once a flirt. I hate people who chase girls like desperado's because i once did the same thing. I hate people who betray friends, because i did worse and betrayed all my friends, which left me running for my life. I hate those who are weak in faith also because i have weak faith. This is how you will see people in society. Someone who hates alot of people always have the same problem as the ones he hate. Am i then wrong to say these words?
You say Jesus is a fraud and you say Jesus follows the father of Muslims. That Muslim's and Christians have the same God. You say i am stupid to have this faith. You say Christians are dumb. You curse me and say that when i die, i will not find Jesus anywhere. So be it. I have put my life and death on Jesus. Whether he is a fraud or not i pay the price for it. If he is a fraud then i will burn in hell gladly. If he truly is God then i will see him in heaven. Is there any point in arguing with you people whether he is a fraud?
Keep going on in life, cry for every trial you face, and smile for each persecution, rejoice with each temptation. The reason why Christians are stagnant in their faith is only because they have no problems in life! Their life is so smooth flowing that they proclaim they do not need God in life. Only a rookie in christian faith would say that they don't need God. A true Christian is never a proud christian.
12:56 AM
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Common test timetable out. Gonna finish exams on 12 dec. Starts at 11 dec and end at 12 dec. Which means i got 12 days to wait after my exam till my birthday : ) Happy happy happy. Finished up my AEL today, just have a few more touch ups to do. Quite alot of mistakes. but at least i understand and am able to do the whole trial common test paper.
lemme see what i am gonna do after common test : )
1.) Sleep and play the whole day (Qty : maybe everyday)
2.) Go out with arcade boys. Hoping for a day at escape theme park and stayover at vinz house or something.
3.) Leader's retreat
4.) outing to east coast park
5.) X'mas party
6.) Go out with kai, vicky and gang.
7.) Party party party on my birthday!!!
Nothing much to blog about if you ask me. Life now is kinda stable. Everyday go school study, come back study and sleep. I always thought studying is boring, but i am really starting to like it alot : )
10:04 PM
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
haha!! 2moro's lesson suppose to be from 8am -12pm. which is 4 hours. but Computer programming lecturer send us a last e mail saying that class has been cancelledd!!!! Which means class is onli from 8am to 10am onli 2moro!!! cooolioooss!! hmm, which means i have loads of time on my wed afternoon to study!! haha. Hector said that lecturer is suspected of dengue fever. hmmm. I sure hope he's fine. Aiyah, actually whether he fine or not not my prob oso. he tio dengue i got loads of free lessons. He nvr tio i can learn more from comp prog. hehe.
Oh oh oh!! Just Mugged for AEL (Analogue electronics) and omg omg omg!! I finally understand!! I cant believe it!! hahahahhaha!! happy happy happy. Did the past common test paper and understood 1/2 of the paper le!! hahahahhaha!! happy happy happy!!!
11:37 PM
Saturday, November 24, 2007
So i had school yesterday and i wore the same clothing style as Mei qin. Black top and white skinny's. haha. I didnt notice it initially until she told me that i am wearing the same thing as her. Somehow me and my big mouth said it was "qing nu chuang", which meant lover's clothing in english. Which started all the crapping of me and mei qin being lovers. Now dun get me wrong that we are lovers. I do not like her at all ok. So SQ was bullshitting about me being lovers so i bullshitted back at him using this theory. You can say that man is God, but man is still man. haha. Which i meant to say that no matter how many times you say that i am attached, i am still single. Which makes me think of all the arguements and debates going on in this world about who God is blah blah blah. Whether Jesus exist blah blah blah. WHich is kinda stupid. You can say that God is Jim carrey, God is will smith, but God is still God yo!
I just finished my first program of writing out formula's!! so fun!!! haha. okok, update some other time, going out with my parents to IMM!! wooohoooo!! see ya!!!
7:50 PM
Friday, November 23, 2007
Happy happy happy!!! Today had my computer programming test and guess what?? i got 53/75 for MCQ, 100/100 for question 1 and 92/100 for qns 2!!! hahahahhahahahahhahahaha. happy happy happy. This week is "pass your test with flying colours" week. hahahhahahahahahahahahahaha. Finally understood how to operate the ocsilloscope and read circuit diagrams and plug it accordingly. haha. THank God!!!!!!!!
8:01 PM
Thursday, November 22, 2007
WHOOOO!!!! Today we had an EEPS test that covers 40% for our whole module. AND GUESS WHAT!!!!! I GOT B!!!!!! hahahahahahahah!!! Which mean 75 and above. Which means..... i have already secured 30% of my whole module. Which also means my chances of passing this module is now very high!!! hahahahahahhahahaah!!! Happy happy happy!! haha. Oh, and let me state that i didnt cheat at all!!! which means i understand what i was doing! THANK YOU GOD!!! Come to think of it, i'm really starting to dig what i'm studying : ) really very fun and interesting putting wires and measuring sine waves on the osciloscope.
Oh, and i changed my specs. And u know what? I cut my own hair again!!!! And i created 2 holes. haiz.. but my friends said it was realli good standard for someone who cut his own hair. But anw, i really liked my specs alot. Cost my mum around 138 bucks. Expensive but neccessary. Main aim was to look decent. So i tested it out on the bus today, 3 ITE gangsters got up the bus. All 3 saw me but ignored me!!! Which means it worked!!! Usually when i take the bus and i pass by the ITE area, the students would start staring at me. I LOVE MY SPECTAAAACLESSS WHOOOOOOO!!!!
I'm pretty much happy these days. Not coz good things keep happening. But because i try my very best to do the right thing. Torturous, but it gave me real happiness.
7:41 PM
Wednesday, November 21, 2007
I grew up in a poor but well to do family. Meaning my parents dun earn big bucks but we still get our 3 meals a day. Since young my family made do with cheap stuff and i only wore cheap stuff. So i was just lying on my bed just now and i recalled an incident when i was still in primary 2. So during recess that time i didnt eat so i just sat at the line where i always lined up to go back to class. I was a loner in my primary school days so i recalled i was sitting at the line alone looking at the kids eating happily and some of them playing with their friends. I didnt notice my primary school principal walking up to me. So i was just looking at the kids when she bend down low to my level and asked why i was'nt eating. I told her that i wanted to save money for my parents so that my family could have more to spend. She gave this very warm and innocent look at me and then patted my head and muttered this words to me :"Truely pure and innocent". This really makes me wonder where has all my innocence gone to. That innocence that i had when i was still young? That love i had for my parents when i was still young. At least now i understand why Jesus said that we have to have a heart of a child.
But come to think of it, i never once regretted being born into a family that is poor . Although many times we couldnt get things that we want coz its too expensive. But it certainly has taught me to value things that i have. 
Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net
10:30 PM
I just realised all my life i have been going to dumb schools. The biggest switch was from my primary school to my secondary school. My primary school inflicted super strict rules that even until now, i still didnt get what i was punished for? We had this rule that nobody is allowed to go to the macdonald's at the comunity centre. I just went there to buy ice cream and i got slapped for it. We also had another rule that nobody is allowed to play soccer with bottle caps. And i got slapped in front of the whole school just because i gave a tiny little kick at the cap. And even up till today i dun see what was wrong with buying ice cream at macdonald's. Still up till today i dun see what harm there is in playing soccer with bottle caps? And somehow the more i think of it, the more angry i get to know that that school filled my whole childhood with fear and even more fear of NOTHING!!!!! And when i got to yuhua it was a total change, where there is only 1 rule. Bend the rules anyway you want, just dun get caught by the DM. In Rulang pri, every teacher and prefects catch students who bend rules. But in yuhua, only the DM does all the catching. Come to think of it, my whole life has been ruined and i aint got no happy memories of school. But when my O's ended and i got my results, i chose my own school. And today, i am starting to really love my course and school alot!! Moral of this entry? NEVER LET YOUR PARENTS CHOOSE YOUR SCHOOL FOR YOU!! Remember this teaching!! It will save your life: " They choose, you lose!!"
7:19 PM
Monday, November 19, 2007
We christians use the phrase "A sinner saved by grace" too often it loses its meaning. And for someone who often thinks he is perfect and has no flaws, this phrase has no meaning. Lemme tell u a story about what this phrase really means. ------>There once was this man named ah run, he was the type of guy that nobody wants to be with. He killed and cheated poor people. He raped girls and robbed old women. He soon was caught and sentenced to death. But on that day he was sentenced to death, a man dressed neatly who has never done anything bad or against the law stood up and offered to die for Ah run. He took up the charge and died for Ah run, without any condition at all. Aren't we all like Ah run? That Jesus died for us when we didnt even know who he was? Why then are we working for salvation? Why are we working so hard doing good deeds just trying to earn salvation to stand righteous? When Jesus has already did that for us? U hypocrites insult his death by working for salvation!!! If a church is going the direction where pastors try to get big crowds by resorting to means of entertaining the congregation more than instead of preaching the Lord's word. Then surely the church is of the world. Pastors use humour as their main weapon to draw big crowds. Some use music to hype up congregations. Some use activities that has nothing to do with the bible as a primary weapon to draw congregations. You hypocrites forget that it is a church!! Not a funfair. Some even twist doctrines to attract people of these world to come in. You give the reason of reaching out to people. But You are feeding them the wrong food and wrong doctrine!! You pastors try to speak of things that humans want to hear insead of speaking of things that they SHOULD hear. In your sermons u talk more of things of these world instead of things of the bible. This is what the Lord says and know that these arent my words! ----->"Stand up son of man," said the voice. "I want to speak with you." The spirit came into me as he spoke and set me on my feet. I listened carefully to his words. "Son of man," he said, " I am sending you to the nation of Israel, a nation that is rebelling against me. Their ancestors have rebelled against me from the beginning and they are still in revolt till this very day. They are hard hearted and stubborn people. But i am sending you to say to them, 'This is what the Sovereign Lord says!' And whether they listen or not - for remember, they are rebels - at least they will know that they have had a prophet among them.""Son of man do not fear them. Do not be afraid even though their threats are as sharp as thorns and barbed like briers, and they sting like scorpions. Do not be dismayed by their dark scowls. For remember! they are rebels. You must give them my messages whether they listen or not, for they are completely rebellious! Son of man, listen what i say to you. Do not join them in being a rebel. Open your mouth and eat what i give you!" Ezekiel 2: 1-8 If you preach a message that humans want to hear, you are merely speaking of things of these world. If man comes up and shoots you at your face insulted by your message, then you have indeed spoke of the word of God. For man are creatures that have rejected the truth from themselves. If man comes up to you and says, "These man has no authority to speak of these words! He blasphemes against the Lord! He has'nt a life worthy of the Lord!!" Take firm hold my friend, and remember no one was ever worthy of the Lord. But you have already been declared righteous before the Lord through the blood of Jesus Christ. Even as i type these words there will be people saying in their minds, "These words are from a 17 year old who is still immatured and stupid and making mistakes! He is just typing these to make himself look smart and wise!! He has no authority of any sort to say these words". I say, so be it. You may reject what i say in these blog and criticize me. But remember you have also rejected the word of the Lord from yourselves. For from this entry comes from the bible and the bible comes from God.
12:24 AM
Sunday, November 18, 2007
Why are you so scared of demonic possessions and ghostly encounters? Do you not know that they can only scare you but cant do anything to you unless allowed by God? Do you not know that spirits are everywhere? There is even one right beside me. When you go up and escalator there might even be a spirit sitting on the escalator railings looking at people pass by. When i was young my mum always told me that ghost dun exist. But now i would say that they do exist and are real. But why are we scared of them? Wouldn't the Lord give deliverance? When my spirit was being pulled out of my body when i was a non believer, didn't the Lord pulled me back? Why are you scared at night when you sleep? Do you not know how guarded you are when you sleep? Do you not know that there is an angel beside you guarding you?
Go ahead and tell everyone what i did wrong and my mistakes. Go tell the whole world what i did. But remember this, i wun spread anything about you about what you did wrong yourself. I know what i did wrong but if you wanna spread it den you remember you have no self control too. If you accuse me of not having self control remember you had none yourself either.
Things are starting to get stupid. haha. But interesting if you ask me : )
1:02 AM
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Whoooooo!!! nice mahs the results?? haha. Damn happy to get 98 for one module. haha. left revision only i guess.
So today i and Neng wei both finished our assignments early so we decided to try outrun2 on lan using our laptops. turns out it can work!!!! haha. Soon we were shouting in class and laughing while playing outrun2. haha. Practically everyone was surrounding us in class. haha. Oh ya, u might think that playing games in class is bad, but the 98 marks result is the module which i played the game in class in. haha.
I dun really care about so many blessings from God on this earth. its pretty much limited.
7:39 PM
I woke up to a gruesome sight on sunday morning. The left leg of a cockroach landed on the right side of my bed, the right leg on the left side. The tail on my thighs, and u guessed it! The body of the cockroach on the ceiling fan. So i used a tissue paper and pulled out the cockroach only to my surprise that its still kicking and alive. So to my benevolent great mercy i squashed it to death ending its suffering. I'm so cool. Moral of the story? Insecticides dun work anymore in this century. Buy ceiling fans. I am starting to like my course alot in this second semester. Somehow i really like fixing microchips and doing all the soldering. I really like programming too!! It really has the kick that sometimes my butt hurts after class. Oh oh! and i really am enjoying the crappiness of my friends. They have good sense of humour. Gotta learn from them.I saw this pictorial encyclopedia on the bible in this christian bookstore and i fell in love with it!! Its really cool with all the information on where scriptures come from blah blah blah. Maybe i wanna go buy it 2moro. whoooo!! On second thought, i think i should just go to the library. i re-read this entry and i realised something, i'm becoming a nerd. I just had this dream that i wanna save up money to buy biblical books. im screwed. On second thought, maybe a nerd would be cool to be ?
12:15 AM
Saturday, November 10, 2007
Hey!!! haha. Just got back from Vicky's house celebration of deepavali and decided to upload some photo's to share with ya guys. haha. enjoy!!
Me and my da jie hui zi!!
Friends!!
Sorry, we both love camwhoring!
Dishes served and after dinner deserts. haha.
Xin An and me. haha!!
Ok, didnt take much photos, haha. lousy megapixels so oh well!! i go type stuff le!! nites!!!
12:44 AM
Friday, November 09, 2007
I Guess if you wanna let go of it all den so am i going to.
School is getting better and i am getting closer to my friends. At least not so much christian insults made against me. More open with them le and starting to joke with them le. Just some modules that are real killers. Computer programming is killer playing with codes. EEPS is double killer. Difficult and causes a headache just by looking at the microchips and doing all the soldering. grrrrr.
Oh i am going out soon to Vicky's house coz he invited me to his house for deepavali. haha. Hk is going with me and ah hong too. hopefully can get some pics later. haha
5:51 PM
Wednesday, November 07, 2007
Why are you so proud of your father's achievement? Why do you think you are greater by the fact that your dad is rich and is a leader? Why are you so proud of yourself that he drives a nice and expensive car? Does it make you better than anyone of us? Was any of those achievement YOURS to begin with? Was it your hands that earned the money and reputation? Why then are you laughing at me just because i am poor and have nothing to be proud about? Why are you laughing at me for the fact that my Dad drives a van? Are you then better than anyone?I have seen people who lead lives where they praise God for good things upon them.But curse God the moment shit happens. I was one of them myself. See back the blog entries and you will see countless entries of me scolding him. But the Lord has shown me that it wouldnt work anymore the moment i entrusted my life to him. The moment i trusted my life to him shit keeps happening. Even more shit than before!. My hands were cuffed up and i was brought to places i never wanted to be in. I was pulled into situations i hated to be in. I was held back from things i wanted and desired to do greatly. I was laughed at mercilessly for nothing i did. I was thrown into depression always walking around this world with a sinking heart. Each day i go to school with a troubled heart and each night i sleep with fear. But it has taught my heart to praise him in the storm. It has taught my heart not to fear death but look forward to it. But i would have to hang on for my time is not up yet until i finish my job. It has'nt even begun as far as i can see. After all, the apostles never got to enjoy life the moment they started mnistries. Not one enjoyed a good life nor richness. Why are you decieved that christianity promises a good life? Do you think that christians lead a good life. At least true christians.
10:38 PM
Monday, November 05, 2007
Have you ever been in those days when you are caught in a dilemma over someone? When you want to be with someone so badly but you cant. You wish to talk to that person but you just cant? That you know if you talk to that person it will get you both into so much shit? Im stuck in a dillema i guess. When she is just there but you have to control yourself knowing that if you talk to her it will get you into so much shit. Hopefully it passes by soon : )I and ZY and zhong Li we were just walking back from united quare yesterday and we were joking about my death. SO we were joking that if i die they will sing joyous tunes and pop champagnes. haha. And i joked that i want my coffin to be a dustbin and i want my body to be squated down in the dustbin and i want a green colour one. haha. And i even want that dustbin to be tied to a van and pulled along the road. haha. My goodness what a funny scene it would be. haha. But in my heart altough i know its too comical and crappy but i cant help wanting my death to be like that. A death that everyone is joyful and laughing. I dunno but i just want my funeral to be ahappy one, Not because they really want me dead la. But because they know that i am going to a better place. I am not insulted at all if you make fun of my death. its pretty much okay with me : )
8:16 PM
Thursday, November 01, 2007
Someone said that i am cowardly and i have no guts and i am scared. I have searched myself and yes you are very true. I am a person who fears easily because of the upbringing i had since young. I was trained to listen to authorties and fear every little thing i did wrong. And i wun deny the fact that i even have fear when i beat up people. I had fear when i was smoking. I had fear when people were after me. Yes i had fear even when i was at the stronger side. Yes i am cowardly and have no guts that i am scared of everything. But my fear was'nt because i didnt dare do anything. My fear was there because i have done something wrong. Den shud i say i am a coward? Yes i am coz i fear to do the right thing. There may be some adults reading this blog who think that i am just a stupid 17 year old who is scared and stupid. Why you sure are clever to have guessed it so exactly on the spot : ) I am not here to defend myself for i have nothing to use against defending myself anymore. I have done too much sin to have anything to use against defending myself against any charge people have against me. All my life i havent done anything righteous or to help anyone. All i did was destroy lives and break people's heart. I brought trouble into other people's families by having a relationship with their daughter, i brought trouble into other people's family by beating up their sons. What defence do i have to use to prove myself of any righteousness? I have nothing to defend myself at all!!! Not even one!! But because Christ died for me that i may have righteousness before him. Because of his death of the cross that all my harmful deeds were wiped off clean without any records! This is not my defence for myself! This is his defence for me!! He defended me by his death on the cross. He defended me with his blood. No longer do i have to work to gain salvation for he has provided it to me for free. Do you then think you are righteous and better than anyone? Then you truly are no difference from the pharisees and the Jewish priests of Jesus's time. Unless u didnt realise we are all living in the city of sodom and gomorah. The city of sin in the times of abraham and Lot. And God said that if there was even a few righteous man in the city, he would spare the whole city for the sake of these few righteous man. This world is a global city of sodom and gomorrah. But it still has'nt been destroyed for the sake of the righteous people living in this world. When all righteous people have been taken then will this ciy be destroyed with fire. Its time to move on with life. No point hanging on anymore. Looking forward to the good things ahead. The same i would say to those who are still hanging on to something they have lost. Throw away what you have lost so that you can free your hands for better things to come. No point hanging on and gripping tightly to something you have lost that you are not able to recieve better things that come ahead. Fever went down hooooo!!! Just that my throat still hurts alot. A simple thing like swallowing my saliva hurts like crap!!! 2 days of mc passed and 2moro's friday. haha!! school starts at 1pm for me and ends at 5. After that would be weekends with my church frens!! Missed time with them last sunday coz i was sick, not gonna miss out this week!!!! I had a weird dream last night. It was about the 2 withnesses again. weird weird weird. I just realised that real pornography comes from our heart. Not from the images seen on ur computer screens. You can see a naked picture of a woman but you can choose whether you wanna get turn on by it or choose to run.
11:36 PM
Down with fever at the temperature of 38.5. not say very high but its still enough to make me feel damn sick. Oh and did i mention? Enough to get me 2 days of mc. damn. School's getting better and at least i am talking more openly to my friends. Sometimes i really wanna let go but i cant. its a dillema. whatever u call it. Its ok if u think that this blog is filled with entries of a 17 year old trying to act holy and u think everything on the blog is fake. its totally fine with me. U might think that this 17 year old is someone who makes so many mistakes and still has the cheek to talk about God here. its ok actually. Coz my life has been made up of mistakes from all sorts of the society. I know where i stand. ANd i know i am not anyone's dream kid. Some Kid that all parents want. Always studying and filial. That isnt me and i wun try to be like one. But i talk about God is only because he has shown great mercy and love upon me that i cant help it but think about him all the time. Yes i hate him many times. But i hate him only because he is so real to me.
1:07 AM
