Saturday, December 29, 2007
So i always say to girls. Dress properly when you go to church. Do not bring temptation into church. But they say, "Its a very hot weather, so i dress more skimpily so it wun be so hot." Sure it is fine to dress more skimpily due to hot weather. There is nothing wrong to that. But if because of ur skimpy dressing that you bring temptation to man den i strongly urge you girls to dress more properly. To some it may have been done in ignorance. But to some how terrible it is when they do it when they know it would bring temptation to men. Paul said that it is alright to eat food sacrificed to idols, but if eating food sacrificed to idols will cause others to stumble, then it would be better not to eat of that food.
But so you say, its just bringing temptation to men, it doesn't do me any bad. But i say this to you, unless you wanna be in the minds of guys who masturbate to your image every night then so be it. Unless you want to bring down people's respect for you then so be it. Do you not know that girls who dress skimpily in the minds of guys they are of no value?
Guys, so you say that masturbation helps you bring down your sexual urge. It helps you to stop thinking of sex. Someone even told me that he masturbates before doing quiet time each night so that he can concentrate on the bible without sexual thoughts. But i say this to you, unless you quit masturbating you will never be able to control your sexual urge. I can be assured to say that until you quit masturbation, your sexual urge will just keep going up until you lose control of yourselves. Until the day you make a girl pregnant then do you realise how the devil has been playing with your thoughts. I praise the Lord for saving and keeping me from getting girls pregnant and how he has kept me a virgin. Amen.
So my classmate once asked me if i masturbate, and when i said i do not masturbate all of them looked at me with shock. Why are they shocked? Coz they believe that all guys are not able to stop masturbation and it is something that nobody can help with. But i say this to you with a clear conscience, that it is possible to quit masturbation. I am saying this to guys who are reading this entry who are enslave to masturbation. IT IS POSSIBLE TO QUIT MASTURBATION. I understand this is a highly sensitive topic, but even so i will not stop encouraging readers that this masturbation that we always choose to hide, is something that can be conquered. But i say this again, rather than saying it can be conquered, i'd add to say that IT MUST be conquered. In many cases of premarital sex, i highly believe that at least 85% of the guys involved have masturbation issues.
How can then i quit masturbation? So i say this to you, i can give you many steps and many stepping stones as guide. But this i say to you, unless you have a love for God you can never quit masturbation. No matter how many solutions i give you, if you do not have the love of God then all is to waste.
So i say this to you as someone who do not masturbate. That quitting masturbation isn't an easy path. It is a road filled with broken glass bottles ready to pierce your feet when you choose this path. Many who started walking this path ended in giving up. But i assure you that once you have quit masturbation, it is a life of great change and intimacy with God. Many things that once seemed foreign to you will be made so clear. Your relationship with God will be so much stronger and so will be your self control. But i will not emphasis too much, i rather hope that you experience it for yourselves. But i say this to you, it is a path that it filled with pain, but it will definitely be a path you will never regret taking.
11:42 PM
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
i spent my ideal 17th birthday. Peaceful and quiet. Didnt go out with anyone since sunday's outing. Monday woke up and did some chores. den at night we went to Changi airport to eat at popeye's chicken den blew my birthday cake there : ) Tuesday originally planned to go m'sia but ended up not going coz of jam. So went to little india instead to eat some delicious yummy indian food. ooooh ahhh.
oh well. life as per normal. School reopens together with secondary school people. So school starts at 3 jan. crappps.
10:48 PM
Monday, December 24, 2007
Today is 24th dec. Slept till quite late today. Woke up at around 4pm today. Woke up to find 4 msg'es wishing me happi bday. Both my sisters not at home. Mum sleeping. Dad just came home. perfect!! Just the way i wanted my birthday to be. Quiet and peaceful : ) But one thing that puzzled me was this dream i had last night.
So i went to sleep and soon in my dream i was brought to church. I was standing before a man who was speaking evil against me to the people in church. He spoke evil things of me to the youths, the adults, the ministers and deacons. But all this time my mouth couldnt open and i couldnt speak to defend myself. But after he was done people were standing around me cursing me and my family. At that time my mouth was opened and i could defend myself. Just as i was about to defend myself, a man dressed in this rainbow coloured robe appeared in front of me. I remembered him asking me, "Why do you defend yourself against these people? What good would it do if you prove your point right and people regain good reputation of you? Go and set your heart right with God, stand before him with your concious guilt free, and the Lord himself will defend you." He continued saying " In the future people will throw curses at you and they will speak evil against you. Do not put your faith in human, for even people you call brothers will turn against you. Instead set your heart right with the Lord and he himself will defend you."
Now i dun know if this dream was from God himself or was it merely just a dream. Neither do i want to come to conclude that it was from the Lord. If it was then it will be proved true in time. But if it is not then it certainly taught me a good lesson. Let time prove itself. oh, speaking of time, i just got my first ang bao!! haha. dad gave me an ang bao. Won't say how much is inside. hahahahhahaha. Happy birthday Jesus!! Happy Merry Christmas people!! happy birthday Nathan!! You are another year older!!
4:06 PM
Saturday, December 22, 2007
So what if you have leadership influence? So what if you have the title"leader"? So what if you have the name "pastor"? So what if you can do great theological debates? If you cant even spread a simple gospel then you are NOTHING! We go to lessons and seminars and read up books on how to be a leader, but the fact is this: The moment you spread the gospel, YOU are a leader. You lead people to Christ.
Would a soldier go to war without military training? Would a German soldier fight for Israel? The same way that a Christian cant fight this world without getting training from the word of God. The same way a Christian would not fight for this world but fight for God. It seems absurd a Christian would fight against God.
Many times i see people putting "I love God" , "I love Jesus" on the blog profiles, friendster profiles and even facebook profiles. I am not going to come here and say it is wrong. It is not wrong to put that. But have we forgotten that it was God who loves us initially? That it was God who made the first step to love us. So this is what i think, instead of putting "I love God", put "God loves me!! : )"!! Whoo!!
11:42 PM
Monday, December 17, 2007
My holidays just started 2 hours ago. the moment it struck 12am its already my 2 weeks holiday. But i guess 2 weeks is too short to go working. So might as well just stay at home or go out. I'm going out to do some school projects this week too i guess. Going out with kai and vicky and gang. Going out with ngee ann frens watch movie. Dunno who else. Oh ya!! Meiyu too. Thks for reminding me yo!! owe you a treat. Might be going out with farah too i guess. Might be calling vicky and kai along too. Dun really know about it la. Vicky working night shift. Dun wanna tire him out too much.
My birthday is coming up in like 7 days time. But honestly, i dun really care. yes i may go around reminding people but seriously, i dun wanna celebrate it at all. After all, my birthday is on a monday, maybe stay at home read some books and play some hellgate. Other than that, i dun really need anyone to sing me any birthday songs. The only thing i look forward to is to celebrate with my family, kinda fun with them, go all the way to airport to eat popeye's chicken or go little india eat masalah thosai. Depends. Dun think i'm going for sat service next week either. See how i guess.
I just have this feeling i am becoming a public enemy. But if u ask me, i dun even know why i dun give a damn. Or isit because i anticpated it already? I am just a young human afterall, who has only walked life for 17 years. Yet people expect me to think like an adult. I realised i can never live up to your idiotic expectations so all i can say is piss off! I have been pang seh'ing people alot these few days. Coz i realised there isn't any point in turning up when you promised to meet someone. I wake up damn early and took a 1 hour bus only to realise those goons are happily sleeping. So i decided there is no point in being on time and meeting people when promised. So from now on, its aeroplane time.!
2:13 AM
Thursday, December 13, 2007
Finished my common test yesterday!!! hahahahahha!! now its slacking time. After paper ended yesterday i and my classmates decided to go to singapore polytechnic to eat. the guys were more interested in the girls there. But i guess we were all dissapointed greatly with Singapore poly's girls. Went there and walk walk for 2 hours and saw only 2 pretty girls. I guess patrick is right, Ngee ann every few second will see a chio bu. But singapore poly is every 1 hour den see one pretty girl. oh well? But singapore poly has much better facilities than Ngee ann. tried out singapore poly's toilet. I can only say i am satified. Not impressed. I went to the handicap toilet, so good, got fan : )
Slept till 1pm today, could have slept more if it were'nt for hong kai. Called me and asked me out to eat lunch. Went to his house and called vicky up there. So went to 429 and ate first. Vicky came over after work. Found out Vicky changed his job to the canine unit. Now he trains patrol dogs. haha. he is attached to a dog named gangster. Big bad ass dog. Saw the photo. haha. He told us bout his job, really very eye opener. might consider working at the canine unit during my 2 months holiday : ) Sat there then at around 5.30pm nya oo came, around 7am xin an came. I left at around 8 coz im tired after slacking too much at 429. damn...
8:03 PM
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Life is stupid and meaningless!! Everyday i walk this earth and i dun have any sense of belonging anywhere. My heart yearns for a place where i truly belong only to know its not here. I walk this earth everyday filled with grief and sorrow for i lived in an evil and corrupt world.
Life is stupid and meaningless!! We work so hard only to realise in time we will be replaced by someone better than us. We work so hard to be the best only to know that there are thousands out there better than us. We work so hard and earn so much money only to realise that we can never bring our earthly achievements to wherever we go after death.
I always thought i had to wait till i am a leader then can i spread the gospel with authority. I always thought that wise sayings and sophisticated theological debates makes me look wiser and better than other Christians. I always thought having a darker past than other Christians makes me greater than them. But i come only to realise how foolish i was with such thinkings.
I come only to realise after spreading the gospel that leadership roles are stupid and dumb. They are the main reason why we do not spread the gospel. So what if i have leadership influences? So what if i can make wise speeches? If i can't even spread the gospel to a fool, i am NOTHING! I made wise philosophies on this blog yet i was a coward to spread the gospel, what a fool i was!! I come only to realise i do not need any leadership roles at all. Now as i speak, how ashamed i am to be a student leader.
I always thought because i had a darker past i am better than other normal Christians. But i realise i am nothing without God! I realise what a foolish idiot i was! I realise normal Christians are better than me for they made lesser mistakes than me! What am i to boast that i have done all those? Nothing! So i shall not speak of it anymore with the motive of boasting.
Cursed are the ones who call themselves Christians yet they go around destroying the name of Jesus. They are the reason why spreading the gospel has been so difficult for true Christians. Cursed is the Church and its leaders if they turn from God to use the power given to them to earn fame and fortune. On their heads are the lives of thousands of souls and the punishment will be too horrible to endure.
3:16 AM
Thursday, December 06, 2007
Today's thursday. Was'nt planning to go to school coz i can afford to skip lessons for this whole day. class starts at 9 but i was still lazing on the bed at 8am. somehow couldnt sleep the moment i woke up. So decided to go to school. screw it. So i bathed and got dressed. But wanted to urine so i went to the toilet. Somehow i pulled my belt too hard it literally teared into half. Damn. So decided not to wear any belt. And while wearing my shoes the back of the shoes wouldnt come up! So looking around searching for any stick i couldnt find any but a pair of chopsticks, so decided to use it, guess what? I broke the chopstick into half too.
Had EEPS today and watched a video on safety in the electrical lab. But somehow i dun get why they started to talk about safety on the roads and teaching us to warm up before exercises. Everyone was laughing at that video. Lecturer didnt really bothered.
oh well, 2moro is the last day of school for this term, after which exam starts next week, might be skipping school 2moro. But i still have to help Neng wei install hellgate:london. Oh!! And hellgate:london is damn bloody fun. Ok, wanna play that game now after studying. see ya!
10:11 PM
Monday, December 03, 2007
So today had my IS CATS class from 1pm to 3pm. Kinda stupid i guess. Went in at 1.20pm and left at 1.30pm! haha. Coz we did our stuff already so we were allowed to leave. Soccer was good. No rain so field was dry and not like some paddy field. Guess God answered my prayer last week that i didnt want rain today. enjoyed soccer although i dunno how to play soccer. I am not a sports person i guess.
I didnt know Hector was from that floorball school team. I forgot what school it was. That school trashed my secondary school 13-0 when i was sec 2 in a school tournament. Well although we got 3rd, but being trashed 13-0 by the champion was screwed up. I might consider joining Ngee ann poly's floorball next year. Would really love to have an opportunity to play against/with hector. My floorball stick is gathering dust in one corner. Have to use it somehow. Floorball skills rusty too. need to have some time to train i guess. : )
Oh well, i am at the last week of school for this term. 7 weeks just flew by so fast. After this term i still have 1 more term to go. After which i end my first year at ngee ann poly. Time flies i guess. Oh! Just did an AEL past year common test paper, got 86/100!! haha. Which might mean i could get higher for exams. I guess i really am very blessed this semester. Quite easy to handle for my second sem.
10:00 PM
Sunday, December 02, 2007
I guess its just another one of my other days where you totally dun feel like doing anything and you totally dunno where you belong to. Its like you go to school but u do not belong there. That deep in ur heart there is a place where you truly belong, but that place is still years to come. say 60 years? You just feel like you are forced to walk this earth when you really dun wan to continue anymore. You are torn in between leaving and staying. Knowing that my death would be made better if i continue walking on in this earth. To put it crudely, i wanna die so badly, but i am staying on just so as to finish my job here. Maybe if i die later, i would bring souls with me to heaven. Now dun get me wrong, i am not being suicidal here, its just where you are torn in between 2 choices i guess.
Just watched the Singapore Tv show called the Noose. I would really say that after watching it i would conclude that it truly is a bloody funny show. One of the best funny shows that Singapore had ever produced. Go check it out ya? Every sunday 10pm. But next week it starts on 10.30pm. haha.
9:41 PM
Saturday, December 01, 2007
Just went out for supper at changi airport with family. had popeye's chicken. haha. Its truly a blessing to have good food even though you are poor. So my Dad finally allowed my sis to drive the van. I was kinda scared about it coz the back seats of the van do not have seat belts. but it all turned out fine. the whole ride was fine. a bit slow, but good for my sis. I dun think i would be so enthusiastic about getting my license anymore i guess. Firstly, the time taken just to get a bloody license is so long long long and expensive. Secondly, even if i get a car, the petrol is darn darn darn expensive lars. And maintenance fee so high. Dun think i wanna use up so much of my pay just for a damn car.
I realised i am in another stage of my life when its time to step into the real world. The real world that all of us have been shielded from. When i was in secondary school all i thought about was just slack, money, play and girls. Now that i am in poly, my thoughts are starting to change, i start thinking about my future work, marriage, car and my kids. I start worrying about my future kids and my beloved wife. How would they live their lives with me?
You might consider yourself to have a dark past but you should never use ur testimony to make yourself seem mysterious and make yourself look good. Each time you speak of your testimony you set your motives straight that you speak of it only to glorify God that not one credit goes to you. If not dun even speak about it. I know of many people who have dark past who walked out of it with God's help, but they do not boast of it to the whole world of what they did. They walk among us quietly that only a few know of their dark past. You do not go around telling people you had a dark past and boast of it to make yourself look good. Do you not know that each time you speak of your testimony you are speaking of your own foolishness and mistakes? And each time you think you had a dark past, remember there are people out there who live in even greater darkness. A testimony isn't a race or a card game where the person with the darkest past is better than the other who has a less darker past. I speak of this only bcoz i made the same mistake once and the Lord set me straight. That if you speak of your testimony to glorify yourself, you become proud and your testimony is no longer valid. Set your motives straight.
1:43 AM
