Saturday, June 30, 2007
As far as i am concerned. Its finally over! Never have i gotten over a girl this fast and never were the results this good. Just some new technique that my sis taught me on how to get over girls. and gosh its fast, effective and minimium pain! Really! but it requires maximium discipline. But the harvest is great. Now i can call her my mei mei with confidence and pride. I sure will be proud to have a mei mei like her!
Classmates call me emo for i do not talk much in school. But are you sure i am emo? I have held back many emotions in school so that you people would not see what many in my past have seen. Someone told me that i will soon be whacked in school. I say, bring it on. How can you organise an army when your own people are killing each other? a whole gang of gangsters couldnt kill me, what makes you think you can even lay your hands on me? And even if you do, on what reason do you have against me for doing it?
There is a saying, "the fury of an impatient man is weak, while the anger of a patient man strikes fear into the hearts of many". I have seen your anger and i have seen how you kill even your own friends with your anger. And i can only say that you have lost all respect anyone could ever have for you.
When i speak of all this words, i am not trying to start a revolution.
2:28 AM
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
| Your Life Path Number is 1 |
 Your purpose in life is to lead others.
You have great drive and determination. Nothing is going to stand in your way.You seek out challenges and the spotlight. You'll take all the work - and all the glory.Status and success are important to you. You demand the best from everyone and everything.
In love, you tend to take a protective role. You enjoy being the provider in relationships.
You expect others to be like you, and as a result, you are often disappointed.A little selfish and vain, you always put yourself first.Remember, everyone already knows you're great - you don't need to remind them! |
What Is Your Life Path Number?
This sure seems to sound alot like me. Oh well..But surely it doesnt sound very nice. oh well..
9:57 PM
It will soon be over. And this little puppy love ends. Almost there! Almost there.Gotten 2 module results back! satisfactory! Engineering Maths-56/100 : PElectrical technology - 74/100Popularity is what everyone wants. But using someone popular to get you to popularity gets you nowhere. Sticking to someone popular doesnt make you popular. Just makes you look like a pest. And so what when you have popularity? I have been there before and there was nothing there. Nothing in popularity that made me happy. I rather be influential than be popular.
1:43 PM
Monday, June 25, 2007
Criticism is dangerous but praises are deadly. Let your will be done, not that i may boast anymore. Why do i boast when you the Lord has done so much for me in silence and humility?Why do i let her be my main focus when she is just your creation? Why do i let your creations be my focus when i missed the creator?Let your will be done that you may humble me.May my last breath here on earth be a happy one that i have fulfileed your will in me.
12:53 AM
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Its time to end this follish little stupid love of mine. No longer will i think about her anymore and i will end all stupid little crushes!! And when its over i will make it my strength! Why has this stupid church of mine turned into a place for dating? Isit a time for revolution where we start modernising? Why has the house of God turn into a place of flirting and dating?? I told someone i wun be staying in this church for long and it will happen soon!! Even my mum has already started leaving this church. I will follow! Why do you claim authority over someone when you havent even earn it? I will never submit to someone who hasnt earned my submission to him and dun even bother trying to proclaim power over me! Who are we worshipping? Music??!! Before rebellion comes someone better kill me. Before i start killing others!
5:30 PM
Saturday, June 23, 2007
Went out with Kai and nya oo at around 11pm just now. Congratulations Vicky for pang seh'ing us the 6th time. But Vicky has just destroyed the trust i have in him. But i was on my way back and i got stopped by a pliceman and tio questioning. It sure was fun playing with him. I didnt bring along my IC and he demanded it from me fiercely. So i just gave him an attitude face and told him i didnt bring it. Just asked if he wants to come my house see my IC or not. lol! den he let me off. haha. Good thing Kai was'nt with me or else i would be at the police station now being tested for cigarettes. That policeman sure was dumb to talk to me so fiercely. haiz. Do i really look that gangster? Why do my friends think i am a gangster?
12:01 AM
Friday, June 22, 2007
Its amazing how even though i talk shit about wanting a gf my sister knew who i still am inside. After all, she's my sister! maybe i should just stop telling people i want a gf. And stop checking girls out. Am i really that desperate? hmm, making good choices in choosing a partner. I heard good things about her and i guess i can continue knowing more about her. But never really talked to her before. haha. You can continue guessing who she is. One of the girls i never talked to before in my church. Somehow she gives me a good impression that she is gonna be a good girl. : PI hate it when people pang seh me at last minutes and make people make a journey for nothing. The highest record breaker? Vicky! Gonna meet him later at 10pm coz he called us down. And he better not pang seh us. Coz this is absolutely the last time i am going to tolerate his nonsense. But its amazing that he can get locked up at such a young age. Back from Refresh. Noticed how dangerous the night walk was and somehow that pain in my chest prevented me from going to the night walk! But hey! Zhong yang and zhong Li and i had fun at the hall of faith laughing our asses off. But hey! its fun and i get to see people sleeping habits, Needless to say people seeing my sleeping habits.
2:07 PM
Tuesday, June 19, 2007
I will never forget where i came from and i will never forget my roots. But its the same way my rebellious personality will never leave me. Every night i can feel it slowly emerging to the top wanting to be freed and to wreck havoc again like how it did in the past. It has always been a constan struggle. I have a feeling i am going to blow up in refresh camp. Who am i rebelling against? The ones chosen by God. Why? Have you heard of a saying? "When the rich rage war, its the poor who suffer.". Sometimes they make decisions and we suffer. Who do i wanna be? I dun want to be a person who is quiet, i just want to be able to control and hold back my emotions well.Its late, and i gotta wake up early tomoro. What a holiday... it sucks...
12:29 AM
Sunday, June 17, 2007
I am just going to say that i do like her. But she's not my everything. I mean, lets face it. Nowadays we youngsters keep saying that their bf/gf is their everything. If you are saying that, you are slapping your own parents. What were you living on before you even met ur lover? Wun you live just as normal even without him or her? Sometimes i dunno why i am in this church i am in now. Everyone is so busy with studying and school and basically, Most are nerds. Sorry to those who are reading this blog who are in my church. But i am just going to state this fact that many before me has noticed. Going to church and hanging out with my old gang is totally of 2 different world. In church, so many thing are constraint inside of me and people around you just makes you feel like scolding vulgarities is like a big thing. Super rude and uncivilised. Whereas going out with old gang friends is maybe where i can really talk what i want and they listen. I miss those days with my old gang where we have fun together and we fight together. But maybe i am just going to be allowed to just miss it. I cant turn back now. Not after how far i have gone. Dun be surprised this is coming out of a christian. We have our internal war's to fight too. I told someone i am not going to stay in this church till death. And that has a high chance of happening. I told someone that my time is not up yet. You might think its a joke, but i mean it, my time is not yet up. I am not ready
3:50 PM
Wednesday, June 13, 2007
So i was at the Giant supermarket there eating dinner with my family and we somehow drifted into the conversation on how i was when i was young. And i realised that i had been a thief almost my whole life. I stole money from my mother and sisters when i was young to buy toys. When i entered secondary 3, i once stoled 50 dollars from the bookshop and loads of stationaries from them. haha. Its been 1 year since i last repented. And today is the anniversary when i repented. 13 June. haha. Its been so long since i last did these illegal stuffs. Fighting, smoking, shoplifting and stealing. But you know whats amazing? I was never once caught! haha. I stole 50 dollars from the school book shop and was'nt caught. Yet a few girls who stole some stationaries was caught and handed over to the police! haha. How thankful i am to the Lord that he kept me from my foolish acts! he has kept me safe from myself!!
Thank you Lord for being so loving to me even when i didnt deserve them. Blessed be your NAME!!
1:33 AM
Sunday, June 10, 2007
If you were given a choice. To be popular and have everyone adore you for selfish reasons, or, to do the right thing and be looked down upon by everybody for it. Which would you choose? I have made my choice and the Lord will help me stick to it. Vincent told me this, popularity satisfies ur ego only, but not ur soul. We'll see how things goes.
Females always are complaining about guys being too horny and treating girls like sex objects. Whose fault isit? if u ask me. Both are at fault. We men have sexual urges built into us and we have a responsibility to control those desires. But many men dun. Females, you females wear skimpily revealing much of your body. Can you argue and say that your dressing does not put temptation into us men? Please females, especially the females reading my blog who are in church, please do not bring temptation into God's house. Please... Your skimpy dressing means a stumbling block to unbelieving man. And your skimpy dressing means another big war within the hearts of Godly men. Gold and silver and diamonds are hidden deep within the depths of the earth. The world most expensive and beautiful things are well hidden away exclusive to those who work for it. Then why are you females revealing the most expensive and exclusive part of your body for everyone to see?
1:08 AM
Friday, June 08, 2007
People keep saying i am very quiet in school. The reason?
Let me tell you a story of a farmer who desperately tried to grow an apple tree fast. He was desperate to make an apple tree as soon as possible so he could sell it to earn money. So desperation and impatience got the better of him and he resorted to unnatural means. He used chemicals and much fertillizers in his crops. So the tree did grew. But little did he know that his apple tree was poisoned and people he sold the apples to got poisoned. Reason being that the chemicals destroyed the fruits.
So tis is the reason why i dun bother trying to fit in so fast. Its just too fast. And even if i do fit in, everything is just going to be fake. You are just friends for the sake of having friends. I rather grow my apple tree slowly and by natural means. I mean, lets face it. It took me 1 year to fit into secondary school. And it took me 15 years to fit into church people. Whats 7 weeks to me? The more you try to fit in, the more fake things become. Time to be smart you people.
Some people say that Christianity is like an easy way to heaven and you get to enjoy both earth and heaven. Do you really think so? Do you know how much struggling one has to go through just to believe? do you know how much doubt we struggle with? Do you think you can believe that something that happened 2000 years ago got the power to change someone.?If Christianity means an easy way and easy life, then why do people get killed for spreading this truth? Why do people give up comfort and leave behind their family just to spread this truth? If Jesus were a fraud then i ask you this. Who would die such a horrible death when he is innocent? All for a lie?? If you ask a real christian whether it is easy being a christian, not one will tell you that it is an easy path. For the road to heaven is like a narrow path and few find it. But the road to hell is a big road where many will walk on it and find that the road ends in hell.
12:40 AM
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
DIE!! i just realised one thing when i am doing engineering mechanic just now! My calculator was set to the wrong mode!! Now then i know why yesterday's EG1 test i keep getting the wrong answer when my steps are all correct!! ARGH!!! Feel like crying now sia!!! argh!! cant cry Nathan!! cannot!! How can you let schoolwork make you cry??!!! Thats not Nathan anymore!!
So lets just say i dun give a damn about girls anymore. If i have a chance to talk to her, so be it, If i dun. So be it. Lets just wait till the feelings fade away and nothing will happen. No happiness, so sadness. Fair enough? goodie! I am just gonna say that i dun go to church so that i can see girls. And yes i aint that desperate for girls to keep sticking to them. That would just make me look desperate. And i aint desperate!!
2moro would be my final module for common test, and after that is gonna be 2 weeks of slacking!! wooohhooooo!! Gotta study for my final 8 hours for this term. Adioz!
2:32 PM
Sunday, June 03, 2007
haha. I just realised one thing while on my bus way home. Know what that is? That my family line not one of them was born with extreme patience!! haha. Its true! But why does my Dad have extraordinary patience? because he was trained on self control!! That is the reason why he has extreme patience with people today! So i said that my spirit can take it, but not my temper. So let it be!! Let my patience be trained!! Patience is the biggest gift that anyone could ever have. But many fail on their voyage to find patience. Because the journey ain't easy at all. But great Joy comes to those who suffer and finds it!! Nothing comes easy in life and you gotta learn it Nathan. And EARN IT!! Thanks Vincent for the advice!! I know what i need to do already!! I aint on a journey to be Mr popular in Ngee ann. I aint thinking of becoming loved and liked by my classmates. But i desire to do what is right. Even if it means that everyone will hate me for it. What can mere mortals do to me? They can only take my body. But not my soul.
10:42 PM
