So i was shot with the question why i wouldnt trust my family but rather trust outsiders with my problems. So i was jus walking to school today. Thinking about this question. So i concluded the reason why. For the whole of my life, i am a guy who came from alot of failed relationships and mistakes. I was wounded in my heart for a total of 16 times in 3 years. yea. F.Y.I i calculate. And 14 times i was left to be hurt alone. So i had this weird habit of turning on the internet and start looking for quotes. U know. Those quotes that sooth the pain in ur heart. But i guess none worked. Naturally i would turn to other alternatives. Like drowning myself in computer games or blasting the mp3 and pretend like there isn't anyone around u. So yea. As usual. None wuld work and u continue to feel the pain. But heck. Like they said. No pain no gain. All this while after so long. I came up with a phrase that would make me stronger. "In Life, You gain strength by letting go, Not gaining". This phrase guided me through my life and pain. As usual it would be difficult to let go of stuffs. But i guess u wun gain strength if u dun do so. So yea. Maybe its bcoz of all this that a barrier started to built up between me and the world that everything would naturally be kept inside me. Maybe i feel comfortable this way. I used this phrase so mani times in this school to so mani people. I tried comforting them when they are hurt. But i guess i ended up more hurt. People wun appreciate what u tried to correct and they start turning back on u. Maybe why the world around u is dying. But i guess i only have 6 days left of this "world". I would thank God for that. So i guess school is a waste of time. And as usual. Teachers dun come to our class today. Had lots of free period. Our VP came into our class and i started to complain to him about the Art teacher and demanded and explaination why my friends Art pieces were rejected. So as usual. He would juz say he would talk with Cha-lan-jiao. and he walked out of class. I doubt he did. Oh well. After recess decided to skip school. Walked out of the gate openly and went to HK house to slack there. Li Jie played the compter while i slept there. After follow hk go smoke den went home. precisely what i meant when i said that school is a waste of time.
