Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Life is stupid and meaningless!! Everyday i walk this earth and i dun have any sense of belonging anywhere. My heart yearns for a place where i truly belong only to know its not here. I walk this earth everyday filled with grief and sorrow for i lived in an evil and corrupt world.
Life is stupid and meaningless!! We work so hard only to realise in time we will be replaced by someone better than us. We work so hard to be the best only to know that there are thousands out there better than us. We work so hard and earn so much money only to realise that we can never bring our earthly achievements to wherever we go after death.
I always thought i had to wait till i am a leader then can i spread the gospel with authority. I always thought that wise sayings and sophisticated theological debates makes me look wiser and better than other Christians. I always thought having a darker past than other Christians makes me greater than them. But i come only to realise how foolish i was with such thinkings.
I come only to realise after spreading the gospel that leadership roles are stupid and dumb. They are the main reason why we do not spread the gospel. So what if i have leadership influences? So what if i can make wise speeches? If i can't even spread the gospel to a fool, i am NOTHING! I made wise philosophies on this blog yet i was a coward to spread the gospel, what a fool i was!! I come only to realise i do not need any leadership roles at all. Now as i speak, how ashamed i am to be a student leader.
I always thought because i had a darker past i am better than other normal Christians. But i realise i am nothing without God! I realise what a foolish idiot i was! I realise normal Christians are better than me for they made lesser mistakes than me! What am i to boast that i have done all those? Nothing! So i shall not speak of it anymore with the motive of boasting.
Cursed are the ones who call themselves Christians yet they go around destroying the name of Jesus. They are the reason why spreading the gospel has been so difficult for true Christians. Cursed is the Church and its leaders if they turn from God to use the power given to them to earn fame and fortune. On their heads are the lives of thousands of souls and the punishment will be too horrible to endure.
3:16 AM
