I just find things very stupid if u ask me. Before you were a leader you didnt even bother getting to know people. But only after you become someone else's leader then you actually start taking effort to know someone better. If you wanna know someone better, then take effort even before you are a leader. So then you ask me, who do i take as my leader? This is my answer to you. 3 years ago when my life was in danger and i spent my time day and night scared for my life. And then 4 years of living in pain crying each night to bed. 1 year of running for my life hoping that my trip home from school nobody would kill me. And when the knife was placed against my neck. When i cried alone at home!! Who the fuck was there for me? Who in the fucking world is my leader that time? Who actually bothered to talk to me and comfort me? Who was there to hear my cries and actually ask to know more about me? Not one fucking soul was even there.
And i ask why isit that when everything is over that people start coming to talk to me and want to know me more? Why isit that people suddenly start coming forth and actually want to have a heart to heart talk? Why isit that people even want to counsel me? Why isit that people actually place their authority over my head?
I say there is a difference between being appointed as my leader and being my leader. If you are my leader just because some stupid authority says that you are, then i will never follow!! Do you people actually think that being appointed as a leader makes you a leader? Do you even need a title then you start carrying out your leadership duties? Yes i can crap and yes i can make jokes and be crazy. But dun even try to place authority over me just because some goon says that you are my leader blah blah blah. You even try to do that then you wun see a happy me.
Nobody was my leader, Nobody still is my leader. This is the reason why i refuse to share deep things with anybody. The church can do whatever arrangements they want and they can place whatever leaders they want over me. Go ahead and be your leader. Do whatever you want, i wun stop you. Coz nobody is a leader in my heart.
