I have been very confused nowadays. Was looking for someone to talk to, but everyone seems busy. So i would just rant it out on this blog. This entry is going to be very long but screw it. I dun have anyone to talk to and i just need to get things off me heavy heart. So if you wan just read, dun wan then dun read.
It just seems that when someone is attached, or whether that person is not attached, he would still get hurt one way or another. If say i am attached, i would be hurt if my gf broke off with me. If say i stay single, i would be hurt to coz i will either get rejected by the girl i like, or i will reject her for the sake of staying single. And either ways, i'd still get hurt. So i wonder, why did i choose this route of staying single? If i am still going to get hurt. But then again, why should i take the other route and get hurt when i know teenage romance won't last 99% of the time? Either ways i still am going to get hurt rite?
Which goes to show how stupid life actually is. One way or another everyone will definitely go through heartbreaks. So it certainly is a common stage. Im getting to be seriously fustrated at why things are like this. That heavy feeling in my heart just keeps coming back and back im getting to be very very very fustrated.
But then again, i still recall those days when i was close to God, and those were the happiest days of my life. But it all seemed so short till he kept quiet. And he is still quiet till today. Im already very close to a point where im going to give up. But who am i to say "I give up" when it was him who chose me. So picture this, i am just someone who didnt want to live in this stupid world. But God just simply told me :"you get your ass in this world and you live it well. No matter how painful it is, dun give up until i say so". So now, what am i to do?
Many people told me that they want a relationship to last very long and even till marriage. Some tell me at the age of 13, some 16, some my age. Im not going to say this is a childish thinking. It actually is normal thinking. Any human who buys a laptop would want that laptop to last. Even possibly, last forever. i mean, heck, even i want my relationship to last. Im going to be very honest here is that even i am willing to spend the rest of my life with just one girl alone. But then again, im just going to be very practical here. We are humans, not robots. We have something called feelings, robots dun. So say a 14 year old girls tells me that she wants her relation with her bf to last forever, usually adults would go " Stop being foolish, its childish thinking". But i wouldnt say she's childish, i'd say she is already growing up who is finally thinking about her life. I rather she tell me she wants to spend her life with one guy forever than tell me she wants to spend 3 years of her life with one guy, the next 3 years with another guy then so on and so forth.
So then, like i said, lets be practical about this. But before i start, im not going to say im experienced in this shit. I just observed my parents and compared them with failed relationships.
So take a look around, teenagers getting break ups and getting hurt. Girl dumps guy for another guy. Guy dumps girl blah blah blah. We rarely hear of couples being faithful to each other till they are married. Common thing? They put their relationships on one thing, feeling. Yeah, i very well understand that the first few months or years of your relationship will be very exciting, happy and full of "love". Basically, very much full of feelings. But then, years down the road, the feelings die off, girl get bored of her guy, finds someone better, dumps guy and the whole cycle repeats itself.
But then i look at my parents, they never placed their relationship on feelings. They know they have to stay together for their kids and their future. They KNOW that they are the one for each another. Notice the word " Know"? Their relationship isnt built on feeling. So like people said, love isnt a feeling. Love is an action or whatever they call it.
So then, lets just illustrate it as me and my laptop. Say my laptop has a lifespan of i duno how long, im going to stick with one laptop. Before i get that laptop, i make sure i choose a good one, one that can be suited to me and i can be suited and adjusted to that laptop easily. So congratulations! I got my laptop. The first few months i get very excited about my new laptop, marvelled at its looks and i need to be with it everyday. Den i get bored of my laptop, its spoils, i have to keep bringing repair bla bla bla. I get fustrated each time it breaks down.
So then, any normal human would start getting a new laptop even before it dies. So this is the same as with relationships. We usually choose to get a new one when we get bored of the current one. Not many stick with it till it dies. Maybe you dun really get my explaination above. So ask yourself one question, can you get something new, and feel excited about it forever without getting bored of it?
So then, the same logic with relationships, when your laptop is infected with a virus, what would you do? Scan it and get rid of the virus rite? Which idiot would leave the virus there and let it destroy your laptop? Same with relationships, something bad happens, sit down and evaluate the problem. Then get rid of that problem.
Im not going to say whatever i type above is 100% true and accurate and that everyone should follow it. I just typed it out of my past experience and observation of my surroundings. Its really up to you as the individual to judge whether what i typed above is true or not. MAybe some people who read it would find it like im talking bout them. But dun be misunderstood. Im not talking bout YOU alone. The above problem has been many people's problem and they are all the same problem. Im just typing one common problem because it has only been that problem alone.
Okay then, like what i told Olivia and Ai jie. Im going to stay single and remain in SHC (Single.hood.club). But like what i told olivia, if i find that someone who is very suited for me and i am willing to give it my all. I will still accept that relationship for that person. But then again, not many girls are of my type. So im just going to wait till she comes by : )
AAAAAHH....i feel so much more relieved after that long long entry. If you are reading this. Thanks for your patience and i hope you liked this entry : ) At least i know that if someone finished reading this entry, someone would have already been there to listen to all my rantings : )
