Sunday, June 29, 2008
Im not going to say that im a perfect guy. No one is. I mean like heck, a perfect guy is a great actor. no one is born without flaws. But why do we treat people like they are without flaws? I mean like shit, its only bcoz people treat us and expect us to be perfect thats why people are dissapointed in us when we do something wrong. I dunno if she treated me like that too. But i can never be perfect. And from what i know, we are fighting over little peanuts spilt on the floor. Maybe the reason why she is so pissed is bcoz she expected me never to spill the peanuts.
No one can ever be a perfect bf or a perfect godbrother. I have already come to accept this fact. I am a person with many flaws. I was born with even more flaws even though i am a reverend's son. When i was younger i did stupid stuffs like beating up people and even my own dad. I did crappy stuffs that people will never expect a reverend's son to do.
I knew i made many mistakes and i still make mistakes till today. But i live today with the only thing holding my head high is that i gave the people around me the best of my heart. I may have a 20% good heart, 80% evilness in my heart. But i know i have given my 20% of the good part of my heart to my friends. Just coz you people may have a 90% evil heart, doesnt mean you give all your 90% of evilness to people rite?
I gave her the best of my heart, if she wants to get pissed off at little dumb stuffs. Den i really am going to move on with life knowing i have tried my best. She told me to quit smoking. I did so as i truly wanted her to be proud of me.
Just coz someone is a reverend's son doesnt mean that person is a perfect person. But just coz i am a reverend's son i was made to live a perfect life. And the things i do are linked to my parents. Is this fairness i ask you? Does it mean a rev son cannot even dye his hair? is dye'ing my hair wrong? And why do people insult my father bcoz of my actions? Just coz i used to smoke did you have to insult and criticize family? My father isnt the one who has'nt done his job well. I am the one not doing my job as a reverend's son!
A youngster isn't someone who is stupid. Just inexperienced in life. How can one person judge a youngster who is inexperienced in life and compare him with someone who has 50 year experience as a pastor? Its just cruelty and bullying. How can a 18 year old have the experience of life of a 50 year old reverend? How can i see the world as how my father sees it? Surely he has seen more.
But then again, i breathe with relieve that i have lived 18 years of my life with so mani mistakes and i still come out unharmed. This divine protection operates in a painful way. He didnt tell me much. I asked him for wisdom, and all he told me was that i would get it, but its going to be painful. painful as hell. Now that my heart is aching like mad shit. I know he is merely answering my prayer. And patiently wait till it blows over and i get stronger.
I really liked this photo i took with patrick, hector and sq and me. We were hanging out till 2 am at orchard on friday. Did loads of stupid stuff in public. Really fun and we took this picture. Although its kinda small but i really liked it.
Haha, cant tell who is who rite?? haha. Sq started this stupid thing. Well, i look at 4 of em and all i can do is smile and be glad i have them as my friends. Funny how i used to hate them to the core when i first knew them coz they made christianity insults on me. But then again, as time goes we became really good frens. : ) Love this 4 guys. Oh, neng wei is included too!
6:54 PM
