Im so through and enough of this shit. I know i made a very wrong decision when i was very young. I know i was through and through a motherfucking bastard when i was younger. I was one of the jerks that people would nvr want to be friends with. I got tired of that life and i changed over. I am just going to be honest that i really do have a 80% evil heart in me. And only 20% of goodness. Even up till today. But i loved those around me and i tried to give you all my 20% of goodness.
Who appreciated? Who actually cared?? Why do people still give me those fucking same eyes that people gave me so many years ago?? Why isit that you people still look at me like a criminal like i do not deserve a chance at life again??
Was it any of your business that i dye'd my hair? Does it actually matter to any of you that you can judge me and my father bcoz of my hair? Are you idiots happy now that i dyed it back to black? DO i look more decent now?? ARE YOU IDIOTS HAPPY?
Who are you to judge me to say that i am bad now bcoz of my past?Yes no doubt i was fucking bad to the core in the past. BUt does it actually still mean i am that bad ass years ago? Did i not love you people and tried to give you my best? Does it mean i have to give you 100% goodness from me then you people are satisfied??
I am merely human. Please people. Spare me and leave me alone!! Please i beg you.! I am merely human and i have feelings. I felt heartbroken too when people called me a bastard child. I felt sad when people hated me. Den why are you treating me like i nvr once considered all your feelings? Did i not consider your feelings? I loved you people like my own brothers.
Isit then bcoz i loved thats why i am so broken inside? I loved those around me and some treated me like i can never make mistakes and fucked my life upside down the moment i make a mistake. Some treated me the same way as they treated me years ago and looked at me like a bastard child. Why are humans such cold creatures?
I am merely a young teenager who is bound to make mistakes at this stage of my life no matter how "good" i am. Please...please dun treat me like i can never make mistakes. I am Nathan, not Jesus. I am a sinner saved by grace. Not a God who save sinners.
I say this LOUD to all you people, i have made this blog public again to tell you people now. --> I am not a fucking perfect human being. I am bound to make mistakes and i am going to make even more mistakes in the future. I am 80% evil and 20% good. I am a sinner who is saved by grace. Not a perfect human who deserves to get any good thing in life.
